Your partner is pregnant and you’re at a bit of a loss.
Everything you say is wrong, everything you do is too little, and everything you don’t do it the worst thing in the world.
Your life seems to be spinning out of control and you don’t like it.
That is why we put together this “What not to say” list from hundreds of other dads out there just trying to make their wives happy. Have no fear, Pregistry is here!
- It’s not that bad.
- I know how you feel.
- How can you be hungry AGAIN?
- You’re so boring today!
- You’re moody all the time.
- Come on, slowpoke.
- Let’s pray it’s twins
- It feels like you’ve been pregnant for forever
- Let’s try for another one right away!
- Do you think your body will bounce back?
- Wow, you look big.
- What’s that smell?
- You haven’t shaved in ages.
- Why do you wear big clothes now?
- I wonder if they’ll cut your stomach open.
- I think your belly is poking out.
- Ew, your burps smell.
- I’m doing just as much work as you.
- I should have maternity leave too, I’m so tired.
- You gave birth but I did just as much.
- You look tired.
- Why are you always in a bad mood?
- Can you make dinner I’ve been working all day and you’ve been hanging out here?
- I wish I could have a maternity vacation- it would be so nice to relax.
- Wow, why are your fingers so big?
There are five basic tenets to live your life by at this moment:
- Respect your wife because she’s lugging around your future child and because she’s a woman to be respected.
- Treat her well because she is working doubly as hard to merely function during the day and because all women deserve to be treated well.
- Make sure she is comfortable because being pregnant is continuously uncomfortable but sitting on a fluffy couch and getting a foot massage makes it slightly better.
- Make sure she is eating enough because she is eating for two and her body needs triple the amount of nutrients to grow your child to be healthy.
- Make sure she knows she’s loved because with all the mood swings, crying, and yelling, she loves you and wants to feel safe.