Dating Again After Having a Baby

It seems that, after you had a baby, your life, your partner’s life, and your baby’s (still very short) life are all open to public speculation. And it definitely seems that, soon after you had a baby, people start asking you when you will go out on a date with your partner again.

With those first few weeks of newborn life safely under your belt, you might be dreaming about how nice it would be to finally have some alone time with your partner again. Or you may just want to sleep and feel “normal” again. Either way, date night post-baby is a whole to-do.

When your baby is born, life changes overnight. Having a baby makes you realize how clueless you were before about how much your life will change. Along with the crying, midnight screaming, diaper-filling, and colic comes a lot of cuddling, snuggling, and love.

A lot of things may make you nervous about date night.

We’ve compiled this post-baby survival list to help you combat your fears!

  1. Pick your outfit the night before

Come to terms with it. Most likely, your post-baby body won’t be exactly the same as your old pre-baby body. If you’ve somehow managed to get in a date night within the first two months of baby being born, first of all, congratulations and, second of all, accept that you’re beautiful now as well! Don’t try to squeeze into pre-baby clothes or revealing dresses that make you feel insecure. A safe bet may be to set aside your favorite maternity dress and cinch it a bit with a belt. You can also pick a favorite maternity top and pair it with looser pants for a more relaxed look. Regardless, your partner just witnessed you grow and deliver your own human. Anything you do will be beautiful!

  1. Make sure you have a babysitter lined up a week in advance

If you’re lucky enough to have a parent nearby, book them in for babysitting. However, do not open your home to any neighbor’s sister’s friend from high school. Leaving your baby for the first time can be stressful enough, make sure that your babysitter is competent in first aid and CPR as well.

  1. Make sure to write everything out

Another way to minimize anxiety is to write everything important out for the babysitter. Keeping all the important emergency contacts on the fridge as well as your cell phone number makes the process as easy as possible. Write out your plans for baby’s feeding as well. Even if you plan on being back for a breastfeed, it could help to leave a bottle out for your baby just in case, as your babysitter won’t be returning if you leave them with a screaming infant for an hour.

  1. Keep it short and sweet

This isn’t the night for a big trip into town to wait for a table at the latest recently opened restaurant. Keep the plans simple and head to your nearest cozy restaurant where you can be close to home if you need to get back in a hurry. If it’s quiet and friendly, even better: it will help you relax! Don’t feel pressured to get a nightcap or drink all the drinks you would have before the baby. You might have missed your cabernet, but this is not the best time to make up for all those months of abstinence. Parenting with a hangover is worse than labor. Seriously.

  1. It’s okay if all you talk about is the baby

Conversation may be a little different now then it was before the baby. If you find that no matter how much you search for a different topic to talk about, the conversation always comes back to your baby, rest assured that you’re normal. For now, life has changed and it’s your baby who’s front of mind; wanting to talk endlessly about her is perfectly normal.

Shoshi S.
Shoshi is a graduate from Stern College for Women in New York City. Her areas of interest include policy, non-profit organizations, and administration. During winter 2018, she was a White House intern. Shoshi has also interned at the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles and at Save the Children in New York. As a millennial, Shoshi brings a young and fresh perspective to the worlds of pregnancy and lactation.

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